5 Tips for Getting Over a Romantic Obsession

Dealing With Romantic Obsession
9 Oct, 2016

5 Tips for Getting Over a Romantic Obsession

A romantic obsession is an unrealistic attachment to someone who is not interested in you. If the other person has ended the relationship and you cannot accept that, your pursuit then becomes problematic.

If you’re trying to get over a relationship that has ended, the task is much more difficult if you’re obsessed with the other person. That means that you think about him or her all the time and fervently wish the you two were still together. Perhaps you’re even tempted to become a stalker!

If you’re in this situation, there are things that you can and should do to get over it. Here are five tips for getting over a romantic obsession.

1. Cut off all contact. If the other person has not already done this, you must end all contact. That means you should not meet the person, talk to him or her on the phone, or text them. Remove the person from your list of friends/connections on Facebook and other social media sites. Return all their belongings and take all your stuff back.

2. Curb your obsessive impulses. When you feel a strong impulse to get into contact with the object of your obsessive feelings, stop and think about it rather than acting immediately. Review the situation in your mind: that the other person ended the relationship and has made it clear that they won’t reconsider the decision. Think about the fact that your obsession with the person is impractical and is not contributing to your happiness or fulfillment.

3. Demolish your fantasy. Understanding that your obsession is based on a fantasy (you and the other person being together in the long term), you should question that fantasy until it crumbles. Think about the fact that the other person has rejected you. Recognize that your dream about being with them in a loving relationship is a delusion. Accept that their romantic interest in you has ended.

4. Grieve. When you have implemented the aforementioned three points and are beginning to feel somewhat less obsessive, allow yourself to grieve. Obviously, your relationship with the other person was important to you. However, you formed an attachment that was ultimately not reciprocated. Don’t spend too much time pondering about what went wrong or what you could have done differently. Instead, give yourself permission to experience the intense sadness that comes with the end of a relationship.

5. Get counseling. If the previous steps didn’t work and you are still absorbed in your obsession with the ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, it may be necessary to seek counseling. This is especially true if you are finding it difficult to function normally. A professional counselor will be able to assess your condition and recommend therapeutic interventions.

A loving attachment to another person can be a wonderful thing. But an obsessive attachment to someone who has rejected you is a problem. Such an obsession burdens both you and the other person. Following these five recommendations will help you to overcome this obsession.

Mandy Peterson

Mandy Peterson

Mandy Peterson is a intuitive empath, relationship psychic, energy worker and author. She is author of the book "I am the Lotus, Not the Muddy Pond" and divination decks and kits such as the EFT Divination Kit and the Color of Love Divination Kit. She has been a contributor to Bellesprit Magazine, Shesique Magazine and Om Times Magazine. Find out more about her at her website: mysticmandy.com


  1. Rhonda Melanson

    This was very helpful.I been separated for almost 3 months and still have hope we will be back together.I had 3 physics also tell me he will be back.Knowi.g that has made it harder to let go.I talk toy angel and ask if he will be back and ask for a sign and see birds everytime I ask.I’m so confused on if I should let go and move on or wait and see if he will be back.I still love him and would work ot out.

    • Just make sure you don’t run away from your feelings and try to avoid getting too many readings or looking for “signs” or it could block the grieving process. Allow yourself to accept that right now you are separated and allow yourself to grieve the loss in a normal way. This doesn’t mean he can never come back. It just means you will process your emotions in a healthy way. Since it has only been 3 months, what you can do is put a time line on how long you will wait before letting go and allowing yourself to grieve and move forward. As a psychic, I’ve noticed that an interesting phenomenon can often happen where a person doesn’t come back until the person who has been clinging lets them go and give up. Sometimes the energy of the clinging seems to keep them from seeking a re-connection. The best thing you can do is get your groove back and live your life fully and with sparkle. This can be especially attractive to a ex-love especially if they tend to get bored easily or like the thrill of the chase.

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